This week I noticed a common pattern showing up in many of my coaching conversations.

It centered on the theme of ‘letting go.’

Many of my clients were weary and overwhelmed. They shared areas of their lives that they were seriously thinking about delegating or deleting. As I listened what I heard was not indecision about the area of their life that needed to be released. They were very clear about the area in question.

Instead I heard a reluctance in ‘letting go’. What would others think? Who would do it if they didn’t? How could they give up some of the parts they enjoyed about the activity?

Then … when I asked how they would move forward into action they suggested spending more time with God to ask Him again if this is what He wanted them to do.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking God’s wisdom. According to James 1:5 we are supposed to ask Him when we lack wisdom and He has promised to give it to us generously.

May I share a thought here … perhaps a pattern in all of us?

Could it be that our discomfort of ‘letting go’ of something leads us to believe we have not heard from God?

Do we think that if God wants us to ‘let go’ of something that it will be easy or comfortable?

Do we confuse the peace of knowing we have heard from God with the discomfort of ‘letting go’? What do you think?

“God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessings can come out of the difficulty.”                                                                     Peter Marshall Scots– American Preacher                                                                 Twice appointed as Chaplain to the US Senate

Frequently I sign off on emails by reminding people that; Every day is a gift of discovery from God.  Even in the difficult places of our lives our discoveries always bring growth and blessing. Take courage in your challenging place and ask what can be learned.

“Balance is not about making everything even.”

Henry Kimsey-House, Karen Kimsey-House, & Phillip Sandahl (2011), Co-active Coaching

Just a few years ago, my life seemed out of balance. I worked too much, played too little, and longed for the type of life in which everything fell into place perfectly—on an even keel. I believed such a life existed for me until I heard a very wise woman speak truth into my soul: “There is no such thing as balance in life. The truth is that we are in a constant state of balancing.”

Wow! Talk about earth-shattering news to a girl who strived for nothing less than perfection! It rocked my world… but in a very good way.

As I began to ponder her words, I sought academic material on the subject and found support for her stand. In Co-active Coaching, Kimsey-House et al. (2011) purport “the issue of balance exists on two levels: the underlying quality of life and the day-to-day experience” (p. 130). They go on to explain how we are all really seeking a life in line with our vision so we may successfully juggle our priorities, employ tools that will propel us forward, and make proactive choices designed to empower us.

I began to see how working with a life coach has helped me in this area by:

• Identifying my perspective
• Making good choices
• Initiating a commitment
• Crafting action steps

Once I came to the realization that I’m In Control of balancing my life, I became empowered to live out my vision of helping others to be still and overcome busyness. I used to look at my overcrowded schedule and give myself a pat on the back because I could accomplish so much; but then I identified my perspective. I believed being busy was a sign of great productivity. What I realized is that busy does not always equal productive.

So, I make a choice to stop when my schedule becomes too busy. Then, I initiate a commitment to choose my activities more carefully and simplify my schedule. Finally, I craft action steps, which will support my commitment. That may mean saying “no” to another volunteer opportunity so I can say “yes” to helping a specific friend in need; but when I’m In Control, balancing seems to happen supernaturally.

Take another look at the picture above. At first glance, the butterfly shells look identical and perfectly balanced. But take another look and you will see the different markings. Plus, one has more “wounds” than the other. These shells remind me that life is not perfect, and I may never feel exactly balanced. Some days are more polished and some days will leave me with a few scars, but as long as I try to keep balancing in a healthy way… I can exude a beautiful vision.

What is one small step you can take, today, toward balancing your life and living out your vision?

 Reference

Kimsey-House, Kimsey-House, & Sandahl (2011). Co-active Coaching. Boston, MA: Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

“In some South Pacific cultures, a speaker holds a conch shell  as a symbol of temporary position of authority.   Leaders must understand who holds the conch—that is, who should be listened to and when.”

Max De Pree, Author

One sweltering August day in the south, I laid my inspirational fiction novel on the beach blanket that had become crumpled up beneath me. The beads of perspiration at my hairline and within the folds of my skin begged for the cool ocean waters of the Atlantic, so I made my way through the sand to take a dip. As the seafoam tickled my toes at the water’s edge, my eyes caught sight of a beautiful treasure being tossed about by the incoming tide—a conch shell!

I quickly made my way back to the beach blanket with my treasure, holding it up to my ear and delighting in the sound that came from within. I caught myself listening in a way that I had not noticed before. Somehow, I had blocked out all the other sounds on the beach: seagulls squawking, people talking, children squealing, nothing appealing—except the soothing roar of the conch shell. It captivated me and made me long to be the kind of listener into which I had just become—a listener who can listen at a deep level, so as to block out any and all distractions. But it also churned up a desire in me to be heard with the same kind of focus.

Life Discovery

When was the last time you felt heard?  When was the last time you shared your dream without fear of judgment?

A life coach listens and creates a safe and confidential environment in which you can explore your future and be heard without condemnation. You get to hold the conch shell.

Click here to connect with Anne and be heard in a way that you may have never experienced before.

“In the perspective of every person lies a lens through which we may better understand ourselves.”

Dr. Ellen Langer, Harvard Professor of Psychology

He stood all alone on the court holding the basketball. My youngest grandchild not yet 2 years old was gazing upward at the net. It towered above his toddler frame with an impossible reach. He watched his older brother during practice and now it was his turn.

With the ball gripped firmly between his little fingers he said; “Malcolm do it.” From his toddler perspective, nothing was impossible. From an adult perspective is made a cute text photo from his mom.

Your way of regarding ideas, situations, and facts is your perspective. Through what lens do you view life? How does it shape your perspective? Perhaps you need a change in perspective when you are:

• Stuck on a problem or issue for an extended period of time
• Having trouble mending a broken relationship
• Feeling like you do not understand others or yourself

Coaching facilitates a safe environment in which you can explore your perspective and discover new ways to polish the lens through which you see life. Using an intentional process of discovery, a coach helps people to review and possibly renew their perspective. When was the last time you polished your perspective?

Click here to connect with Anne and get started with a free Discovery Call.

Are you stuck somewhere in your life? Stuck feels uneasy as if there is something more or something you are missing. Often when you are stuck it is because you are;

• looking at the problem in the same old way
• trying to use a set of beliefs about the situation that no longer apply or
• using some outdated problem solving techniques

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, the Nobel Prize winning physician said;

“Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.”

Coaching uses this creative process of discovery to help you get unstuck and moving forward again. And let’s face it … we all get into a rut at times with the same old, same old.

Coaching encourages you to see through different perspectives and challenges your old ways of thinking. It supports you in asking; what else? Coaching cultivates your creativity and gets you moving forward. Don’t stay stuck.

So … back to the real world after an incredible Speak Up Conference in Grand Rapids, Michigan this week. I am sitting here in the airport wondering how my husband and I are going to get home today. Our plane sits idle waiting for parts. Everyone wants safe travels home.

I am going to use this time to reflect on the last few days. Many faces come to mind – returning faces and new faces. Participants from 21 states and 3 Canadian provinces gathered to be equipped in speaking, writing and leading.

I met such delightful people so purposeful and willing to stretch out on the learning curve. That takes raw and gutsy courage. I applaud you! Continue to be courageous as you travel back to face your realities. Here are a few coaching tips.

• Take time to reflect carefully on what impacted your heart at the conference That motivation will keep you moving forward

• Jot down the most significant things you learned Recording it will help you lock in the learning

• Decide on your very next action step That way you won’t get lost when distractions disrupt your focus

• Stay connected to those faces that encouraged you We all need a network of support

How do you travel back to reality after a conference?